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1. Acceptance
I know it’s easier said than done but you must truly accept the demise of your marriage. Why it failed and its consequences such as paying for child support and being away from your kids. If you still love your ex-wife, you must try accepting that it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. The fear of isolation also creeps in upon you. All you have to do is to embrace the pain, the loneliness, the sadness and the anger for a bit. But never let it consume you. There was a time in my live after divorce that suicide became an option. It was a horrible feeling. Please consider seeing a therapist to help you in getting through grieving the loss of your marriage.
2. Stay Present In Your Kids Life
Based From personal experience this is most difficult part of being a divorced dad. You’re no longer having the luxury of being with the kids all the time. Worst of all, if your ex-wife is an alienator she will do her best to alienate the kids and teach them to hate you. Try to maximise the time that you have with your kids even in a short amount of time. Quality over quantity is the game plan for us Dads since the kids will spend the majority of their time with their mother. Be a good listener to your kids and be attentive to their needs. Show them care, love and attention.
3 3. Set Your New Goals In Life
Divorce may seem a setback or a loss investment of time, emotion and financial, on the other hand it can be emotionally freeing, having a clean slate starting you on a new journey of self discovery and growth. If you want a particular hobby or career that you haven’t got the chance to do because of marriage constraints, now is the time to do it. Try to analyze on what you really want to accomplish in life and make a full commitment. Setting goals does not only give you a long term vision but also a short term motivation.
The first step towards learning from your failed marriage is to admit that you had committed or had a part of the marriage breaking-up. After acknowledging the mistakes think of the things that you can do to prevent those mistakes from happening again. Having a “growth” mindset will make you see the mistakes as an opportunity to grow as a human being.
5. Get Some Support From Family and Friends.
Divorce is tough and you may not get through it alone. Family and friends are there to help you build a positive future for you and the children. They are always be there for you willing to listen giving you unconditional love and compassion.
